[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Tuesday, April 19th, 2011|
Back to livejournal because my real journal went with my computer when it crashed. I know, I know, I should have saved it. Though nothing really has changed. Well, ok, that might not be entirely true. A lot has changed, or at least evolved. One of my closest friends has been hanging out with the two people that destroyed my life. No, I'm not being melodramatic, the bastard almost killed me. Literally. Choked me unconscious twice. So I left and she even encouraged me to delete his and her number. I did and she said she did the same. Well, needless to say, they moved from texting, to talking, to hanging out. Which I learned to deal with because who am I to tell her who to be friends with. even though she use to snap at me for talking to them
Jet forward into the future, and it's evolved into something even more terrifying. I thought she was sleeping with the guy (Which, who knows, she still might be), but an even more horrifying discovery is that she's sleeping with his girlfriend. And all under her own boyfriend's nose. Now, I'm not judging her for her gender preference, I'm judging her for her inability to keep her freaking legs closed and pants on. I thought I would be more upset about said close friend. I'm not. Recently a very close friend that we shared came down and told me "They're all trying to make you look like the bad guy....it isn't working". It was nice. A fucking relief to know that I wasn't crazy. That each time they came over and I hid in my room, I wasn't some how attacking their happiness.
What has this proved. You can never go back. I moved back to Florida under the assumption that this was going to be my home for a while. This was it. She even said, and I quote "N... will never come in this house." Pardon my tacky language, but what a lying bitch. Though this bares the question that my grandmother always said. "If they do it to everyone else, it's only a matter of time before they do it to you." And she did. Thankfully I'm not to crushed socially considering all my friends apparently hated her already. She can have the guy and girl. Have an orgy. She just gave me the one thing i needed. A reason to move back. And there isn't a fucking thing she can do to stop me. Other than continue her annoying habbit of going in my room while I'm gone and using my crap.
On a more positive note, I'm officially twitterpated :)
|Monday, June 12th, 2006|
Well...I woke up again. And another one of myfriends died. And my heart hurts each time I breath.
|Sunday, January 8th, 2006|
Alright, so this is the deal. Thanks to my drug consuming alcoholic mother and pot smoking father, I have a higher tolerance to become addicted to medication or alcohol. Which means whenever I get sick with the flu, which I currently have, I have to pace myself. I discovered this once when I had a two week head ache and went through three bottles of pain kilelrs. Anyway, that said, I currently have a fever over a hundred and all i want to do is OD on NyQuill...just pass out, but damn my hippy parents, I can't. Anyway, that's the new facts from me.
|Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005|
Well, mom kicked me out. Before I even had a chance to really leave. Now this is going to sound really weird...but it hurt myfeelings, even though I was going to leave less then a week anyway. Kinda of shocked me, but I got over it. I feel kinda abandoned and lonely, not to mention I have strep throat. Let's just stop this whirly gig of fun, huh? Raf, my friend from Orlando, is coming home from Maryland, plus I need to find a new job, so I guess I have a lot laid out for me. Wish me luck.
|Tuesday, March 1st, 2005|
Well, sorry I haven't posted for a while. I know no one really reads this, but oh well. I am suppose to move out by this up coming Saturday...for the first time. Terrified is an understatement. I've never lived away from my mother and I am not sure that I can. She needs me and...well, as cruel and psychotic as she is, I sometimes think she needs me. She's going to be furious and I keep trying to find the strength to tell her. Doesn't help that I recently developed strep throat and can't really leave the house. This means I get all the free time to think of creative ways to tell her. I don't know what to do...and I feel so lost. I don't want to be an adult, I can barely act 20 as it is. A part of me wants to run to Canada to live with my real father, the other part wishes Tim my step father would take me back because...well, I miss him on some level. I know he hates me now, but...well...I don't know. But I'm scared.
|Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005|
Just wanted to say hi. I don't think anyone really reads this...well, maybe you Sheena, but that's because we are both weirdos. I am so tired and I have damn work. Who's crazy idea was it for people to work for a living? Who needs money anyway? I mean really, work only causes stress along with the knowledge that the money that you earn is only going to go to bills or school or food or some other random source of entertainment that we will regret later.
I'm suppose to call my dad in Canada soon because he wants me to come and live with him. This is one of those moments that I am not sure which parents I hate more. The lesser of two evils I guess. I'm not a pessimist, just call me a smart ass. Hopefully I will be able to live in my friend Jennie's house until I leave. She is my friend and I know that we can tolerate each other, which is a good thing. I went to go see Constantine with her and Raf, who I miss terribly and who is moving to Maryland. Sadness.
|Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005|
Maybe it's the reality of knowing that once you reach a certain age, you have to grow up. Everyone says when you turn 18 and go to college, everything changes, and they are right. Whoever says that college and high school are the best years of your life...they're full of crap. They're probably the most emotionally draining and hormonally confusing times of your life and you spend at least 97 percent of time contemplating whether or not you should go to class, go to work, have sex or just lock yourself in your room and read. The story of my life. Why is is it we are more comfortable with being mature and knowing what we want when we are just children. As we get older, we lost track of our goal and give up our rather glorified career choices for something more realistic.
Most children want to be doctors, fire men, vets, etc. Ask the average college student and most likely most of them will say a career in computers. Does this make us less human and liable to turn into someone less than unique? No, it just means we are becoming are parents and becoming the dreaded word...responsible.